So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize