I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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