brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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