i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
