How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
