no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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