I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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