We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
