Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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