why didn't you poke me back
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize