I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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