I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
