you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
