strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Please don't give away my fajitas
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize