Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
