dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
