I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize