Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Randomize