me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
