I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
