My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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