yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
