Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
