I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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