my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
