If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
