You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You're breaking my sexual little heart
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
