Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
