Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
The adults are the big ones right?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
