So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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