My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
