the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Randomize
