He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize