i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
