Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
