do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
