What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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