my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
