Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
