Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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