Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
