he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
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