He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
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