he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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