just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
