If that was your dad, he is hot
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
This can only be settled by a dance off.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
