I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
