I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
