what day is it and did you see me today?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
