How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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