i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
