I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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