Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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