can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
