Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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