I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
