Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
