i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
