I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
