You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
