Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
