Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
