I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i just had sex bonerless
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
