I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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