you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
