I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Randomize
