I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
