Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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