Jerry, you need to find god
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
