Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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