this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
My penis needs a shock collar
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
