So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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