He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Sacagawea was the original milf.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
