I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
