No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
