Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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