I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
