I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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